Name: Higanbana no Saku Yori ni – Dai Ichi Ya
Original Title: 彼岸花の咲く夜に 第一夜
Translation: The Unforgiving Flowers Blossom in the Dead of Night.
Marie is trapped in a horrible situation. She’s constantly tormented by her classmates and regularly molested by her teacher. With no where else to turn, she finds herself asking for supernatural help from of the seven demons of the seven mysteries of her school. All she desires is the death of her cruel classmates and teacher. How far will Marie be willing to go in order to achieve the murders that would free her from her living hell? This post contains trigger warnings (child molestation) and should not be read by anyone who is easily triggered by that. Please read with caution. The following post also contains spoilers. Please do not read unless you have read the visual novel yourself (source).
Live Blogging: Okay. It opens on the scene after her teacher had just molested her. He left her in her bra and panties. After he had left, the girl cries.
The opening song is really beautiful as well as the opening credits. I’m actually kind of scared and I’m hoping that there are no jump scares. Those are just the absolutely worst. And so the girl’s name is named Marie Moriya (they really like that name, Marie/Maria). From the description they’re giving us, it seems that Marie had pretty average grades, is in ** grade, and is part of the club. Not only that, but she’s apparently unable to refuse class managerial positions such as committee and team leader.
But it’s not that she wanted to but she doesn’t think she has the strength to refuse them. I feel that.
So now it’s going into a whole speech about why she felt she had to do those things or these things that humiliated her. She had apparently convinced herself that there was just no way to refuse it and that it was for the best. Of course, the sick bastard is taking advantage of her feelings like this and she feels even worse. She feels that she cannot get out of it.
Again, I feel that. Maybe a bit too well.
So not only is she facing this shit at school but she can’t really seem to tell anyone at home. She apparently has sisters who are apparently ~so much more talented~ that she just sort of gave up and not open up to anyone.
I don’t know if I could get deeper into it but I just started. There’s no going back now.
So the story goes: Marie was caught by her teacher doing something bad enough that it would have gotten her bullied again. And the teacher decided to take advantage of this girl by molesting her.
I hope the teacher dies first.
These fucking faces are creeping me out – thank God this shit isn’t full screen.
Okay, I really want this teacher to die. Since the teacher had been molesting her, he took advantage of the fact that she was bullied, punished them, and justified it as, “Well, at least you’re not being bullied anymore”?!
WHAT THE FUCK. And that’s the thing about these child molesters – they appear to be such good people but they do sick shit like this. They do things for their victims and then expect them to “pay” them back.
Ugh, I had to mute that for a bit. The laughs were getting to me real quick and this is getting way too fucking real. Way too fucking real.
The way Marie is literally reasoning is this is just getting way too damn fucking real.
And then he’s starting to really abuse her more and more. Calling her over and feigning sickness just so he could do things to her. Marie is tired. She doesn’t want anymore.
But it’s the only way for her to stop getting bullied. No one else at this awful school won’t do shit about the problem because of the bullshit they always spout out.
So now I’m learning the name of the teacher who’s molesting her. His name is: Yoshihito Kanamori. On the surface, apparently all the girls had a crush on him but I don’t understand this phrase: “he crushed the meager of these girls underfoot, and he had plenty of them. He was the worst.”
Does that mean that Marie isn’t the only victim?
So he had some kind of ambition but the pressure corrupted and he embraced an irrational anger?!Of what!?
The fact that “no one was grateful for [his selfless work]”? This asswipe is the reason why we have so many douche bros out there in the world. People like him corrupt our children and harm them in the most awful way! I know this shit is fictional but these attitudes are way too real.
Okay, I get rewarding yourself when you’ve done hard work for a job well done. I get that. But I don’t want to know what this whole thing means:
“He was already seeing his efforts being rewarded and continued to pile up his hard work. But on the other hand, during times when no one rewarded him, he had to reward himself. Because if he thought about his work up until now, this kind of deviation was justified.”
… Yeah I —
“If he hadn’t found an outlet for that rage in another person, he might have continued to be a noble teacher.
So from that point forward, his life lost its purity, and he unmistakably became the worst kind of man.”
See, I really like how it doesn’t mention sex about why he’s molesting Marie. He’s doing it because he’s an arrogant fucking jackass who wanted a pat on his back for doing the minimal – and it’s about, surprise, power. He wanted to take his rage out on an innocent young girl because:
“His purpose now when he came to school was not to educate the next generation of girls and boys to bear the future of society, but to amuse his unrequited self by consciously violating the girl to his heart’s content.”
Whoops. Never mind. He is a pedophile. He’s not just a pedophile, though, he’s an arrogant, power hungry pedophile. And he’s angry and he wants control.
Literally, the worst combination. And he’s self-aware. He justifies his heinous actions and knows that Marie will probably tell the cops. So he wants to make sure it doesn’t happen? He actually wants to try to control her after school? Bitch, please get the fuck out of here.
…So in order to make sure she doesn’t tell his horrible secret, it’s only natural the teacher wants to kill her.
Great. I’m having Misao flashbacks.
“But, the way to pay that price was through another sin, and my pile of sins reaches the height of inhumanity. … But there are plenty of guys that are worse than I am.”
Oh hell no you did not.
When is this bitch going to die?!
“After all, if I think of all that I’ve achieved so far, putting aside a crime to this degree, I still can’t be considered a bad guy.”
He’s not wrong. Look at all these fucking scandals. Roman Polanski. Sadusky. The Catholic priests that keeps on molesting…
Yeah. He’s not wrong and I really wish he wasn’t.
I had to turn it off because it was actually really scary?!! Like….I actually got nightmares about it last night so I don’t think I’m going to read anymore at night.
So there’s a story at the school that if you stay after school at night, you’ll hear crying. They call it the “Mesomeso-san” because of the pitiful crying. When asked what was wrong, it would respond with: “Mesomeso, mesomeso. You out there, please listen to my pitiful story.”
That couldn’t be a youkai – the teacher thinks it was Marie sharing the story about how the teacher is taking advantage of her. He thinks that someone like Marie would just tell someone? I don’t think she would. She’s only satisfying his evil ways just to prevent bullies. I don’t think kids of that age would have been able to handle that.
So now he thinks it’s a good thing because people doesn’t even think it’s real.
…Because apparently if the student listens, then they would open the stall, the student will be dragged into it, and after some torture, it’ll kill you.
Yep. Getting Misao flashbacks again.
Now he’s admitting to the fact that he thinks that ultimately Marie has the control because he’s the one who is addicted. He thinks that he’s the one who the slave and Marie is the master. That’s all kinds of fucked up. Sir, Marie is still a goddamn child.
Eventually, Marie heard of the story and realized that the story started with her when she did something particularly bad that time to where she cried. She felt that maybe if she could just tell the stranger – it wouldn’t hurt anymore. But now it’s become a ghost story, Marie doesn’t think that’ll ever happen.
Now this is Marie’s attempt at suicide. And she wants revenge on her teacher and the bullies since no one would stick up for her.
“If I have the resolve to destroy myself, I can expose everything, and I’ll surely take Sensei down with me.”
Not only has this sick fuck molested her, but he recorded and actually dared to use it against her. She acknowledges the fact that even if she blew the whistle on her teacher, she would be shamed as well.
This is something I absolutely could relate to: “If I can’t escape no matter how I try, all that’s left is suicide. …. But if there’s another way, I don’t want to die.”
She really wants to get revenge for herself without dying and honestly thinks there doesn’t seem to be a way around it.
“Then I thought, I really should become the youkai, ‘Mesomeso-san’ then. Mesomeso-san is a terrifying youkai, and it’s said that it drags in its victims and kills them by crushing all their bones with its horrific power….. If I could attain that power….then surely, surely, I could even have my revenge on that man…”
While Marie was waiting for her usual time with her teacher, she starts muttering to herself about revenge, becoming a youkai, losing her humanity, her fear of the future, when she gets a reply.
“….So you’re saying. You’re Mesomeso-san…?”
A girl appears in front of Marie whom she didn’t know. At first, Marie is taken by her beauty and doll-like features and ponders if she could have been a student in the school since there are 10 classes for each grade. Because Marie couldn’t read the other girl’s name tag, she said Marie should call her Higanbana. Then Higabana starts talking about the amount of youkai that may or may not exist in the school – and since the school they’re both attending is huge, Higanbana wants to increase the number of youkais.
Marie begrudgingly admits that she is Mesomeso-san but says, “But I’m human!” Higabana giggles and said that it was okay – some of the legends at the school were former humans before. Marie just asks Higabana if she’s a youkai or not to which Higabana responds with a yes. She’s apparently called in the class she’s in, “The Dancing Higabana,” the third rank of seven seats.
She explains to Marie that she’s mentioned by a nurse as well – as a doll that had been left in the infirmary. Apparently it dances alone in the depth of the night.
Even though Marie hadn’t heard of the story, Higanbana seemed to still want to talk to her. Then Marie asked if she had come to ask Mesomeso-san (Marie) to join them. Marie wondered if she would kill her outright with a spell, if that was the case. Actually, she wanted that to happen because she didn’t think she could have the courage to kill herself. Marie has given up being human if it meant being abused forever.
Then Higabana invites Marie to her class meeting where they would decide if they would let her join in the eighth ranks as “Mesomeso-san”.
Suddenly, she disappears. Marie worries that it was just a daydream so she admits to herself that she believes in Higabana’s existence (Umineko vibes but it’s to be expected). Now she ultimately decides to go through with it. She realizes that she just dug two graves – her teacher’s and her own. She accepts that.
But it was time to meet with her teacher.
As she’s making her way to the old bathroom, she decides to try at least one brave act before she ends her human life.
When Marie tries to talk to him, the teacher realizes what’s probably going to be the next thing she says so he gets really scared.
He tries to threaten her with the videos but Marie says, “Well, wouldn’t you get in trouble too?” It was then he realized that his control was rapidly slipping and he’s realizing why Marie had suddenly gained courage when she had just obeyed him before. He thinks that she went to someone for help. Marie denies it and asks if he could just destroy it.
The teacher realizes that none of this ends with him on top.
Because of his lack of control, he starts to kill her. This message pops up:
“…ThE r est, a str ange si ght…”
He proceeds to choke her in a blind rage as he remembered chasing a carp with his bare hands. He starts wondering how he ended up in this way. He wanted to be a prime minister. He wanted to be an airline pilot.
Marie starts to die and he feels that he’s killing the carp again. He put his whole strength into killing her as his rage felt it wasn’t enough.
Then, she died.
He realized what he had done finally. He became nauseated. Not the normal and horrified nausea but the kind when someone spills the milk.
This man is truly disgusting.
Annoyed, he realizes he has to hide her body. As he’s trying to figure it out, something happens. He hears someone’s footsteps coming. He gets scared because he realizes that this person is coming towards the stall to test their courage.
Finally, someone knocks on the door. Realizing that he has really no choice but to answer the door…He decides he was going to murder again even though it’s gutsy.
The teacher imitated her if only not to kill another student because it would damage his reputation. After successfully hiding from the girls who had come to test their courage, he left the school with the body. He stored her body in an abandoned storehouse. After the school was completely abandoned, he got her body from there and took her to the outhouse behind the prefab school building.
After deciding since someone comes out only once in a while to empty the septic tank (but only just so), he decides to put her there.
Why would you put her there!? There’s that slim chance you’re going to get caught!
I really cannot wait till the teacher dies.
Before he put her body in the septic tank, he checked to make sure he didn’t leave anything suspicious but finds out that her right sleeve button is missing. He starts getting paranoid that maybe he didn’t see her with it on or if he had dropped it. Ignoring it and figuring that it’s somewhere around the school, he just drops her in there and closes it up like she was just garbage.
Like she was just garbage.
Again, he was paranoid that someone must have saw him (from the staff room), but he reassured himself that he checked before and there was no one in there.
This bastard laughs at a job well fucking done for covering his tracks at the bathroom earlier. He takes credit for being Mesomeso-san, never the fucking mind that Marie was the one who was her. Not only that, just because he thinks he got away with murder meant he was at the top of the world. Fuck you. Your death cannot come soon enough.
He keeps thinking he surpassed human and “earned” the name Mesomeso-san and has become a youkai. YOU ARE NOT. YOU’RE A FAKE. YOU’RE A MAN WHO’S PITIFUL AND GROSS. YOU’RE A MURDERER.
Now Marie’s soul sees her body alone and trapped in the septic tank and she cries. She cries because of the sad fate of her human life. The sad fate being she was born alone and she died alone. Suddenly, she heard Higanbana. Higabana allows her to cry but lets Marie know that no one will ever hear it. Marie understands this and then asks if she could become Mesomeso-san. Higabana responds with:
“Before you label me as a liar, please listen to me. It’s true that I recommend you to be ‘Mesomeso-san.’ Everyone at the school class meeting gave their approval. They only had one condition. … That condition wouldn’t have been a problem at that time, but…. …. Now, that condition is stuck in place.
Only one person is allowed to hope to become ‘Mesomeso-san’, you see.”
Originally, Marie was going to become Mesomeso-san because she had the intent, will, and hope to become her – only her. But because of her disgusting teacher, and his diatribe of becoming Mesomeso-san, he ruined that. Higanaban says that she still has a chance of becoming Mesomeso-san. There’s just a 50% chance between her and her teacher. Since there are 7 youkai, they could vote on who’s the better Mesomeso-san. Higabana tells Marie that she’ll cast in her vote to her since she’s already attached to her but there are others who think Kanamori would be better suited because of the crimes he committed.
If Marie loses, she will probably get devoured by the evil spirits lurking around looking for food.
For right now though, Higabana is looking after Marie so she’s being protected until the youkais decide.
Higabana reveals that Marie doesn’t look delicious to not just the other demons outside the school but to Higanbana herself. Marie resigns herself only because she feels that she’s extremely grateful for Higanbana to protect her, even in her hunger.
Marie determines herself that she’s able to defeat that man and her bullies because of all the anger she still carries with her.
But meanwhile, Kanamori has a surprise: people are talking about Marie’s disappearance. Naturally, he lied about ever seeing her or didn’t know what happened after school. The school tried to take some initiatives in protecting the kids but the cocky Kanamori just…grew more confident.
Please get caught.
Kanamori takes even more advantage of the chaos and adds that Mesomeso-san must have taken her and made the student promise to keep it a secret. Naturally, it doesn’t stay a secret for long. Then, he started to believe more and more he was “Mesomeso-san”.
One day, after school, he was on his way to the staff room, he fell in the hallway. Apparently:
“When he fell, it was as if something had caught his elbow. It tore his skin and made him bleed.”
The vice principal notices it and comments on it. Kanamori is as smooth as ever as he tried to clean up himself but then the vice principal notices that the blood is coming out quite a bit to where it seeped through his tissue. He goes to the infirmary where we meet the school nurse. As he’s getting patched up, he excuses the murder as a way to relieve himself of an aggression he had from people looking down on him and, since the murder. He honestly didn’t think he would have to kill to get rid of it.
Ever heard of hobbies, dude?
He finds a button and then notices a western doll. He thinks that’s the doll’s button and mentions it to the nurse. She says, “Oh oh, is that so? I’ll have to sew that back on after you leave. Because they say this child is the master of this infirmary, after all.”
Kanamori takes the doll down and inspects it. The nurse continues to say that the former nurse had told her that the doll had been there long before she started working. And not only that, it’s cursed.
The story of the dancing doll goes as such:
“Long ago, a doll that belonged to a girl who died in this infirmary took her spirit and became a youkai or some such.” The name of the doll is Higanbana.
The curse is apparently put on those who throw that doll away. The nurse thinks that since it’s been watching the students over throughout the years, she felt bad about just throwing it away. Not only that, after they would stay in the infirmary, they wouldn’t get worst. The nurse outright says that the doll protects them.
Kanamori seems to accept this for whatever and then asks about the button he’d found. The nurse had just said she’ll sew it on her right sleeve later.
The perverted teacher starts to recall the murder he had committed (finally) on how he had inspected Marie’s body before he dumped it to make sure there weren’t any clues that could get him caught. Then he remembered how her right sleeve had been torn. He remembered how he had thought the button was insignificant but it still gave him a certain bad feeling.
Especially with the button being from the doll’s right sleeve, he felt triggered by the sheer randomness of it all.
Higanbana’s voice echoed in Kanamori’s head: “What a foolish man. There are only two things that can evaporate, or disappear from this world. Know what they are? The things that disappear. … Water and grateful souls, just these two.”
She started to laugh but stop to continue.
“Are you looking for Marie’s right sleeve button? What is that button made of? Water? Grateful souls? … Right. It’s made of things that aren’t water or souls. So there’s no way it can disappear from this world. It can’t dissolve or evaporate. … So it must still be where it was dropped, right? … It’ll be where it was dropped, always. Until it’s found by someone… it’ll be there forever, won’t it?”
Finally, the voice had left. Kanamori is once again reminded that he had neglected to throw away or even find the right sleeve button that belonged to a small girl whom he took advantage of and eventually her life away. He realized that maybe, just maybe, there was a chance that Marie had torn it away from her sleeve that night Kanamori killed her. He pondered that if she were a boy, it wouldn’t have been a surprise but since Marie was a girl, and a methodical one at that, she wouldn’t have been so careless with her buttons.
The nurse tries to get Kanamori out of his stupor and the teacher leaves. Already, Kanamori is shaken up by the eerie experience with the Higanbana doll. Maybe now he’ll turn himself for the murder of Marie… I doubt it but we’ll see how that goes.
Kanamori is starting to figure that if he becomes lazy, someone will find the button and that someone will find out about the truth.
He starts to try to remember where the button fell – then he remembered. It was where he had killed her; in the old school building’s bathroom stall.
He recalled in his arrogance that there was nothing of note that he’d left behind but he then recalled how he only took a glance. However, it’s the last place it could be at. Kanamori decided to wait till after the school was completely cleared up so he could go back to the stall, unseen by anyone.
Finally, back in the infirmary, as the nurse does her duties, she thought she heard some laughter. She turned around and thought it was someone else but there was no one except for the Higanbana doll.
But that was impossible, right? Dolls couldn’t really talk.
Then Higanbana murmured to herself how it would be more amusing to see how the two would decide for themselves rather than wait for a vote.
The nurse continued to ignore the strange noises. She’s tired, that’s all. The nurse decided to leave early.
Higabana continues her murmurs. She hopes that either one of them would do something much more interesting than a vote. Considering she wants to eat Higanabana’s spirit….I’m not sure what to think what she means by “interesting”.
Kanamori goes on with his facade of a caring teacher and works until he was the last one in the school building.
The vice principal tells Kanamori that since he’ll most likely be the last one, he better make sure it goes on before 11pm or the security will go check up on the school if he doesn’t call them.
Kanamori admits that he hadn’t really made plans to stay that late but he’d better hurry. Since he thinks of himself as some expert sneak, he wanted to avoid the security company or he’d have to answer some questions which might get him into more trouble.
I like how Kanamori goes on and on about how he has to be quiet about getting the missing button but the background music is louder than shit. All I need now is Beatrice’s haha sound and I’ll be set.
Kanamori called towards the security company to let them know he was still at the school building.
Arrogant as always, Kanamori walked towards the old school building and all the while, watching his back to make sure no one else was there.
The only thing he could hear were the insects.
Cocky as usual, Kanamori separates the school environment with the rest of the society outside. He determines that since he’s ultimately alone in the darkness, he’s the master of this world. Even though he was supposed to do a certain deed, already he was growing mad with the little power he was granted with. Already, he was starting to forget the reason why he stayed at night.
That confidence, or fake confidence, didn’t last too long though. As soon as he stepped into the old school building, he finally realized he could still get caught if he turned on a light. Instead, he used a flashlight to get through.
A voice rang out:
If you’ve gone this far from the human world, you’ll get closer to the spirit world, won’t you?
A series of giggles followed. Kanamori thought it was the doll from the nurse’s office but there’s no way, could it? Even in the different world… was it possible for dolls to talk?
As he delved deeper and deeper into the old school building, he found things to be quieter and quieter…
Finally, he made it to the bathroom stall. He started to actually feel scared and hear something dripping – something he hadn’t noticed regularly and while abusing Marie. He tossed aside his fears – he didn’t think Marie’s ghost would go after him. It was the button that he’d dropped would cause him endless despair.
He looked into the stall and, as expected, found nothing in there. However, he was suddenly triggered to all the indecent things he did to her. He had forced it out of his memory when he’d killed Marie. He recalled the bit of regret he felt for her but then tossed aside. After all, he considered himself on the top of the hierarchy chart.
Kanamori then started to search more and more all while his instincts told him to get out of there as quickly as he could. However, he’s so convinced that it was there. He had to keep searching for it.
It still wasn’t there.
Now he’s going to recreate the scene. But even after doing so, he still couldn’t find it. After all, Marie had died in that very stall. The flashlight fell and then there was a strange glint. The button was on the paper dispenser. Then he flushed the button down the toilet – never to be seen again.
When he tried to leave, when he tried to open the stall, he found that he couldn’t. Then he heard a girl crying on the other side.
But how can that be? He’d lock the door himself. There was no one else in the building.
As he tried to convince himself it was merely guilt hallucinating the crying, finally the girl speaks.
“You there. Please listen to my pitiful story.”
Kanamori asked for Marie but the girl just cried.
He continues to berate her for what she didn’t do in life and Marie, for the most part, agrees with him. She tells him not to open the door and see her in her true form but Kanamori ignores him.
He opens the door to see the same scene – Marie in the stall and Kanamori attempts to kill her again. This time, Marie reaches out and chokes him instead. He kills her again and then Higanbana appears.
She tells him about the game they had between Marie and him. Kanamori thought he won until Higanbana reveals that he hadn’t. Instead, he broke the rules of Mesomeso-san. He answered her cries. He opened the door and saw her true form.
Marie ultimately crushed him to death which is less than what he truly deserves but because of the kill, she won. She’s becoming Mesomeso-san.
Higanbana tells Marie that she should meet the other youkai. Marie asks Higanbana to be her friend and at first Higabana berates her but then accepts.
Time goes by and no one ever sees Kanamori again. There’s a rumor of a youkai who lived in the old school building to have the agonized screams of a teacher who was supposedly strangled to death.
Even in such a large school, these rumors continue to exist.
After Thoughts: To be honest, I did not know what to expect from this series. I read some synopsis and the fandom didn’t seem very big on Tumblr.
Frankly, after that conclusion, I didn’t expect Marie to actually kill Kanamori. I had thought she was going to scare him off and he’d run away somehow. Not only that, I thought that Higanbana would excuse that from Marie because, why the hell not.
I didn’t expect her to actually kill him. Not only that, I didn’t expect her to actually die either. I had thought, since this had multiple chapters, it would be her life and what the bullies would be like.
But I was wrong. I wouldn’t say it left me in despair… but I will say that it’s left me empty.